BREAKING NEWS: Nicewanger Not Pronounced the Way We Hoped It Was

According the barely audible team of hockey enthusiasts broadcasting the game live over the Internet, Tomah's red-hot goaltender, Nick Nicewanger, pronounces his last name "Neesh-wonger." Good to know. And lest Mr. Nicewanger thinks we're making fun of him, allow me to remind him that while he is having the time of his young and promising life (and missing school too boot), I'm a bitter alcoholic who rests his balding head every night on a pillow of shattered dreams.