Sunday, March 3, 2013

Koby Graciously Concedes; Karofsky Walks Off with First Solo WSHSHP Title

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your 2013 WSHSHP Champion, Andrew Karofsky.
Well, that certainly turned out to be a snoozer. Eau Claire Memorial destroys Verona 6-1 in the title game, vaulting the underdog Old Abes to their second state title. Well played, ECM. No one gave these guys a virgin's chance in the Kollege Klub of winning a tittle after a slow start to their season but, much as Homestead did in the early rounds of the tourney, the boys proved it's all about Who has the hot hand come tourney time and who has blown their wad defeating Notre Dame less than 24 hours earlier.

Congratulations, Mr. Andy Karofsky on a fine win. Only one other WSHSHP participant, Mark Krajan, field had the cajones to chose the Old Abes (and that's only because his wife is a proud graduate of that school). Krajan rides that bold choice to his highest ever finish, taking home the SILVER award with 290 points.

Mark Krajan's expression says it all: "Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser."
Blake Feist, currently rising a quad lift somewhere in Montana, takes home the BRONZE with 234 points, narrowly edging out Creighton Fung.

Scientist/Model Blake Feist.
Rounding out the Top 10 is the always gracious Brian Kobylinski in 5th, TJ Hansen in 6th, Ivo Knezevic, Pappy Birrenkott and Verona alumnus John Rader in 7th, the surprising Tom Baldwin in 8th, crafty veteran Dan Krewson in 9th, and Mo Mott/Analisa Rudy and best-selling novelist/rookie Matt Solomon in a tie for 10th.

Lost in the hoopla this year has been some shockingly poor performances by veterans who, frankly, should know better. Wayne Lee, despite spending an entire weekend running complex algorithms on the +/- ratios and power play percentages, finished in a pitiful 30th place in this year's standings, while blowhard Erik Moe had his worst showing in the history of his time with the WSHSHP, limping across the finish line in 32nd place, hand in hand with New Orleans resident Tom Grantham, both of them barely ahead of perpetual basement dwellers Jed Resnik (Ashland), Tim Shore (Rhinelander) and Kelli Dornfeld (Spooner).

I think we all know what lies at the root of Wayne Lee's poor showing.
Erik Moe: A Face of Shame
What has happened to Moe? Rumors are rampant but this office does not stoop to such gossip. Wd can all just hope this year's shameful performance can be written off as a down year for the once proud former Cruskater.

More analysis later. Until then, please join me in congratulating Andy Karofsky on his fine achievement. You can find the full

Friday, March 1, 2013

And then there were two: Karofsky and Koby to slug it off for WSHSHP title.

Wowzers, what a night of hockey in Madison! Superior tries to sneak in illegal shooters on two separate penalty shots within two minutes and gets stonewalled by Old Abe goaltender Alex Geving both times. Talk about your Instant Karma.

So it comes down to Denver's Andy Karofsky and Milwaukee's Brian Kobylinski for all the marbles tomorrow. I believe Karofsky split a title with this humble reporter many years ago before better records were kept and Koby won just a few seasons back, so both these fellas know what they're doing out there.

It's bound to be a heck of a game. Stay tuned.

Do you believe in miracles?

Brian Kobylinski does.

The Verona Wildcats have just pulled off one of the biggest upsets in recent Big Ice history, drubbing the heavily favored (and poorly crested) Notre Dame Tritons, 5-2. This is the same Verona team that lost to ND by eight goals earlier this season, inviting comparisons by at least one WSHSHP to the Glory Boys of Lake Placid.

Wow. Just wow. It's why they play the games.

And speaking of games, Eau Claire Memorial and Superior have taken to the ice. I must apologize in advance for Superior's poor decision to wear white helmets with dark blazers. And don't even get me started on the socks. C'mon, boys, this is Fashion 101. Creighton Fung certainly hopes your hockey skills are better than your sense of style.

Feist Clings to Lead Over Mott/Rudy; Fung and Koby Look to Make Their Move

It took all the brain power of the Central Office (and most of its lunch hour) to figure out the standings but it breaks down this way:

All alone at the top, and literally shaking with his usual meth-like enthusiasm, sits the eccentric fitness freak Blake "Heat Miser" Feist. The man barely made it into this year's field, but he was obviously using the extra time to do some research. The kid knows his Wisconsin high school hockey almost as much he knows the reproductive organs of the Banded Killifish (and trust me, folks, that is saying something).

Is this really a Banded Killifish? Only Blake Feist truly knows.
Right behind Feist, but needing a miracle, is the the field's only couple entry: Eric "Mo" Mott and Analisa Rudy. In keeping with today's wildlife theme, rather than show you a photo of the fetching duo, I'm going to post a photo of the leading candidate to be the next member of their household:

And look here's in third? Everyone's favorite uncle, Creighton Fung! He has been riding the Superior bandwagon so long they have named an exit row after him. Should the Spartans prevail today, he'll be in an ideal position to claim his first ever WSHSHP title. 

Fung posing with a lesser trophy.
And let us not forget Brian "Koby" Kobylinski. He has quietly worked his way up the WSHSHP ladder once again this year. If Verona advances this afternoon (and as of this writing, they hold a shocking 2-1 lead over the favored Notre Dame Tritons) he could find Wooden Plank #2 on a bookcase already stuffed with false glories of an overrated athletic career.

Stay tuned, folks. The game is streaming over at Wisconsin Prep Hockey. MJ Hammett and the boys doing their usual fine job. Tune in!