Friday, March 1, 2013

Feist Clings to Lead Over Mott/Rudy; Fung and Koby Look to Make Their Move

It took all the brain power of the Central Office (and most of its lunch hour) to figure out the standings but it breaks down this way:

All alone at the top, and literally shaking with his usual meth-like enthusiasm, sits the eccentric fitness freak Blake "Heat Miser" Feist. The man barely made it into this year's field, but he was obviously using the extra time to do some research. The kid knows his Wisconsin high school hockey almost as much he knows the reproductive organs of the Banded Killifish (and trust me, folks, that is saying something).

Is this really a Banded Killifish? Only Blake Feist truly knows.
Right behind Feist, but needing a miracle, is the the field's only couple entry: Eric "Mo" Mott and Analisa Rudy. In keeping with today's wildlife theme, rather than show you a photo of the fetching duo, I'm going to post a photo of the leading candidate to be the next member of their household:

And look here's in third? Everyone's favorite uncle, Creighton Fung! He has been riding the Superior bandwagon so long they have named an exit row after him. Should the Spartans prevail today, he'll be in an ideal position to claim his first ever WSHSHP title. 

Fung posing with a lesser trophy.
And let us not forget Brian "Koby" Kobylinski. He has quietly worked his way up the WSHSHP ladder once again this year. If Verona advances this afternoon (and as of this writing, they hold a shocking 2-1 lead over the favored Notre Dame Tritons) he could find Wooden Plank #2 on a bookcase already stuffed with false glories of an overrated athletic career.

Stay tuned, folks. The game is streaming over at Wisconsin Prep Hockey. MJ Hammett and the boys doing their usual fine job. Tune in!

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